I've been with my boyfriend for about a year, and things are going very well, for the most part.We do most everything together, have a lot of fun, and he treats me like gold." It's an interesting way of phrasing things — as if he's chosen to commit to the breakup instead of you. For better or worse, he seems to need the independence.It may feel that way, but, like everyone else, he probably had complicated reasons for wanting to break out on his own — and sometimes that's hard to explain. Whether he's healthy now or not, he's chosen to move on without you — and you have to let him go.I should probably note that this is his first serious relationship after breaking up with an ex who he was with for about 10 years. In fact, I think it highlights a lot of good qualities within him, and I'm sure it's a huge part of what has made him who he is today — a person who I care for very much.But I do think that it might have something to do with him not being ready to say the words yet. I know it's your habit to "let the man take the lead in this department," but maybe, if you really feel that way, and you know that you're the one who feels more comfortable saying it aloud, you should just go for it. It already sounds like you know this guy can't be trusted.Pretty soon, you’re seeing him once a week, receiving regular texts, and he’s telling you how much he enjoys your company.In your mind, you’re on the verge of having a boyfriend. In his mind, he’s already warned you that he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend, and now he’s off the hook.
I was in a relationship with a guy I thought was The One. If he hasn't changed, you have no reason to believe that he won't do the same thing — or worse — again. He said that he's still in love with me and that I'm the only true best friend he's had, but that he's unhappy and needs time to figure out how to fill the void in his life. He also is very scarred by his parents' messy divorce, and I believe it contributed to his fear of commitment.
You’ve been sleeping with him for three months and you’re not sure you’re exclusive.
You’ve been boyfriend/girlfriend for six months and he hasn’t said “I love you.” You’ve been a couple for a year and a half and he’s never hinted at a future.
How many times do you have to get burned by this to know that it’s true? ” is about all the effort that he thinks you’re worth. I’ve already told you that it’s important for him to say, “when can I see you again” within a day or two after seeing you.
You’re not wrong for wishing that a great first date or mindblowing sex means commitment. Any longer than that means he’s playing games, indifferent, or a very poor communicator who doesn’t understand women’s needs.
You’re only wrong for expecting it to, and allowing yourself to get your hopes up too high based on limited information. Do you wonder where you stand or feel like you’re losing momentum? Think back to the men who made the best boyfriends: I can almost assure you that they made a supreme effort to win you over at the beginning. Other boyfriend behaviors include leaving his weekends open for you, calling/emailing/texting you every single day, wanting to know that you’re not seeing anybody else, referring to himself as your boyfriend, introducing you to his friends and family, sleeping with you regularly, talking about a future, and declaring that he loves you.